People says that she’s pretty, perfect, talented, and everything. Neither do I. But the truth, I’m jealous of her. She has everything. Can you imagine that? Having everything what you want (that is so cool). I always compare myself with her. It’s like black and white. I’m black and she’s white. I’m not talking about my skin colour and hers. But what I meant is, we never get along (sometimes). Just like black and white. Sometimes it’s match, but sometimes not.
It feels like I’m wearing a mask infront of her. But infront of my friends, I put off my mask and show the truth. One of my bestfriend, Adel, said to me, “We can’t choose our live.” And I think, yeah. She’s right. God have plan for myself. I don’t need to wear my mask. I have to be the way I am. I don’t need to copy her style or be like her. I have my own style. I might be not as pretty as her, but people don’t see girls just from her appearance right? Some boys see a girl from her inside. Maybe she’s kind or caring, not just beautiful.
I had enough feeling sorry for myself just because I’m not like her. This is my time to be what I am. Maybe I’m not as beautiful as her, but I’m still God’s creation. And He never make His creations ugly. God give what is the best for us.
Just a time ago, I tried to be like her. I was mad. I even didn’t realize that I’ve been changed because my anger and jealousy to her. But suddenly, I felt and asked myself, “what’s wrong with me?”. It’s okay if I want to be like her, taking the positives from her, like to be more diligent. But I don’t need to change myself from the way I am.
Many girls in this world try to be in the “popular girls” group. Wearing lipgloss, cool outfits that make them look pretty, always talk with the “idol” in the school, and more. But we don’t have to be like that. It’s better if we’re not popular but comfortable with ourselves than to be popular but we’re not comfortable with ourselves.
Be a grateful person. Lord has made us like this. And we have to be grateful and try not to compare ourselves with the others. We can see well, hear well, talk well. But the others, some kids can’t see, they are blind. Some kids can’t talk. And some kids can’t hear. But we are perfect. I learned that I don’t need to compare myself with her anymore. Even I know if she’s better than me. I just want to be myself. I want to be like the way I am. I don’t need to copy her style or everything that’s from her. Except for the positives. She’s not a goddess. She’s not a god. The only person that is perfect is only Jesus. No one can be as perfect as Him nor as strong as Him.
I know that sometimes I still jealous for her because of her life and her fancy things. I know if everyone adores her. But I don’t need to wear fancy things like hers just because I want to look like her. It’s just wasting my money. I can use my money for good and usable things.
About a week ago, she started bragging about herself. Actually, I didn’t want to listen to it. But I was so curious. So I listened to it. And the result, it made me want to be perfect or better than her. But I remember again. I don’t need to be like her. She is not a goddess. So I just laughed infront of her. But actually there were anger, jealousy and tears in my heart. I ever asked God, “God, why did You made me and her so different?”. But like I said before, God have plans for us. Good plans.
Starting from now, I don’t want to wear my mask again. I don’t need to be like her. I don’t want to buy useless things just to be popular. I know I can through this. He’s with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment